Regrets

Begin personal log, Saturday 11th of April, 111... Audio only.

There aren't many things I truely regret. Considering the rather terrible nature of some of the things I've done, that's rather essential for me to continue functioning as a person. One thing I do regret though, is letting my personal feelings get the better of me.

Vince has decided he doesn't want me anymore. He wants Kelsy instead... I'm not going to fight for him, in the interest of keeping things civil. I should have noticed this sooner really. The signs where there, and in hindsight it was all so obvious what he was doing... But my judgement was clouded by... By emotions I am not equipped to handle.

I... I Suppose I don't really have the right to feel this way about it. I put them through a lot, and a part of me can't help but wonder if this is some kind of retaliation on their part... To make me feel what they felt. If that's what they are doing, then it's worked. It hurts more than I thought it would... It's like... An acheing, bursting feeling in my chest that won't go away. I cant' remember the last time I cried this much.

I need to get the station Administrator to send the cleaners here... I let it all get to me a bit too much last night and I've broken a few things...

There is a deep, shuddering sigh. She sounds as if she is on the verge of tears again.

I am never going to let this happen again. This is the last time I ignore my better judgement and mix business and relationships together. I don't honestly know how I can face Kelsy and Vince now, but I'll have to try... I'm a director, I don't have the luxury of being able to avoid people. Even those who have hurt me.

The next few lines are spoken with a barely concealed bitterness, almost verging on hatred.

For what it's worth, I hope they are both very happy together... I don't want the act of having my heart ripped out to be for nothing.

End log.