Stepping Down

Begin personal log, Tuesday October 20th, 111. Audio Only.

I've had to resign my place on the directorate. The decision was not entirely my own but Myrhial is right, I can't continue like this... There is no point in me being a director if I can't do my job properly.

A heavy sigh.

Giving up my position has been hard, I've been a director for just under a year and a half and having to quit now makes me feel like a failure. The others have been supportive, telling me that I did the best I could and that they are grateful for the work I have done, but that doesn't stop me feeling like I've lost something. I know it's for the best really... But I miss it regardless.

This of course means that I've lost a lot of my contacts in the Cartel which means I might not be able to help Celia as much as I'd hoped I could. I'll have to think of another way.

More bad news, I lost the Nova Flow a few days ago. I was in a combined Veto and Ghost Festival fleet, tracking down a group of four Ferox-class battlecruisers in Nadire. Yishal and I were in Lermireve sitting on the gate we thought they would come by, and sure enough they dropped out of warp right ontop of us. I was the first to open fire, and all four Feroxes - along with the sentry turrets - responded by firing back. Yishal called primary, but I had some trouble switching targets which resulted in my firepower being spread over two vessels. The rest of our fleet started to arrive, but we were too strung out so they turned up in dribs and drabs, with our remote-repair Dominix being the last to arrive. He didn't have time to target and repair me before I had to give the order to abandon ship, but I managed to take one of them down with me.

The fleet tore apart the remaining three Feroxes with little other difficulty. I was feeling a little dejected at the loss of the Nova Flow and most of it's crew, despite it's sacrifice allowing us to nail three battlecruisers in a row. In retrospect though I'm pleased it went down the way it did, and not to some stupid blob or gate camp. I went out again that night with the rest of the corp in the Wraith as part of a forward scouting party. We managed two kills and only one minor loss due to an honest mistake. When we got back I discovered that Repentence had replaced Nova Flow for me too, so not a bad end to the night. I must remember to repay her for that.

There is a short, thoughtful pause.

I've still not really been outside my quarters since the mutation. Morwen and Repentence came over to try and convince me to go to the Three Sisters party, but I refused. Aside from that and a meeting with Ethan to discuss my thoughts about me stepping down from the directorate, I've had almost zero social contact since I left the VCS Lucifer. Maybe I'll pay a visit to The Last Gate or something tonight if I'm feeling better about myself.

End log.