Stepping Down

Begin personal log, Tuesday October 20th, 111. Audio Only.

I've had to resign my place on the directorate. The decision was not entirely my own but Myrhial is right, I can't continue like this... There is no point in me being a director if I can't do my job properly.

A heavy sigh.

Giving up my position has been hard, I've been a director for just under a year and a half and having to quit now makes me feel like a failure. The others have been supportive, telling me that I did the best I could and that they are grateful for the work I have done, but that doesn't stop me feeling like I've lost something. I know it's for the best really... But I miss it regardless.

This of course means that I've lost a lot of my contacts in the Cartel which means I might not be able to help Celia as much as I'd hoped I could. I'll have to think of another way.

More bad news, I lost the Nova Flow a few days ago. I was in a combined Veto and Ghost Festival fleet, tracking down a group of four Ferox-class battlecruisers in Nadire. Yishal and I were in Lermireve sitting on the gate we thought they would come by, and sure enough they dropped out of warp right ontop of us. I was the first to open fire, and all four Feroxes - along with the sentry turrets - responded by firing back. Yishal called primary, but I had some trouble switching targets which resulted in my firepower being spread over two vessels. The rest of our fleet started to arrive, but we were too strung out so they turned up in dribs and drabs, with our remote-repair Dominix being the last to arrive. He didn't have time to target and repair me before I had to give the order to abandon ship, but I managed to take one of them down with me.

The fleet tore apart the remaining three Feroxes with little other difficulty. I was feeling a little dejected at the loss of the Nova Flow and most of it's crew, despite it's sacrifice allowing us to nail three battlecruisers in a row. In retrospect though I'm pleased it went down the way it did, and not to some stupid blob or gate camp. I went out again that night with the rest of the corp in the Wraith as part of a forward scouting party. We managed two kills and only one minor loss due to an honest mistake. When we got back I discovered that Repentence had replaced Nova Flow for me too, so not a bad end to the night. I must remember to repay her for that.

There is a short, thoughtful pause.

I've still not really been outside my quarters since the mutation. Morwen and Repentence came over to try and convince me to go to the Three Sisters party, but I refused. Aside from that and a meeting with Ethan to discuss my thoughts about me stepping down from the directorate, I've had almost zero social contact since I left the VCS Lucifer. Maybe I'll pay a visit to The Last Gate or something tonight if I'm feeling better about myself.

End log.

Needle in a Haystack

Begin personal log, Thursday October 8th, 111. Audio Only.

I'm currently staying on Vincent's carrier, the VCS Lucifer. I've never been on a Thanatos-class before and it's a lot bigger than I thought. You can see it's Gallentean heritage everywhere, all organic flowing curves and soft lighting. It's been modified too, a big section of the crew quarters has been converted into a representation of a mansion on Luminaire. He's even installed a holographic sky and climate control systems linked to weather satellites in orbit around the planet itself... Very sentimental of him.

I'm not sure how he heard about what happened to me, but he came barging into the ward where I was being held and practically swept me up into his arms to bring me here. He didn't feel the medics at the infirmary on the CONCORD station were treating me right... It was sweet, but I'm worried he's going to get himself into trouble over it.

Anyway... Apparently he's taken it upon himself to try and find my original body. He has an entire fully-staffed astrometrics suite and science lab onboard this ship which he is hoping to use to track it down... He's called it 'Project Artemis'. Cute.

Honestly though, I think he is wasting his time. There is no way he will be able to find the body and even if he does the chances of getting a workable sample from it are tiny. Not that I'm ungrateful or anything, the fact that he is even trying means the world to me... It just seems like such a huge waste of resources.

On the upside, the mutation seems to have slowed down. It's now covering the right side of my face and chest, and I've not noticed anything new for the last three days. It looks kind of like big ugly purple tendrils of scar tissue, a bit like stretch marks I guess. My right eye though is just... disgusting. No way am I going out in public with that on show. It's all swollen and misshapen, and it... it leaks. Ugh.

There is a party this weekend at the Three Sisters club. I really want to go but I can't - not like this. The theme is 'Elegance' and... well... I don't feel very elegant right now.

End log.

Malignance

Begin personal log, Monday September 28th, 111. Audio only.

I'm updating this entry from the infirmary. My whole right arm is covered in bandages and it hurts like hell... It's all... malformed.

I came straight here after the incident on Wednesday, and I've been prodded and poked and had to provide a multitude of blood and skin cell samples... They think it's being caused by a defect in the genetic sample taken from my original body - the one used to grow my clones. I... I knew the sample was defective because... because of what happened before. But I had no idea the effects would be so far-reaching. I didn't even know it was possible for something like this to happen.

The worst thing is, it's spreading. It started in my right hand, but within a few days it's spread to cover my whole right arm... They don't know how far it'll spread or what other effects it might have, so they are keeping me here under 'observation'. Huh.. That's all these damn medics can do it seems, 'observe'. I'm sick of being treated like a fucking science project. They say they are working on a solution, but I already know they can't reverse it... They need a sample from my original body and God only knows where that is now.

I told Myrhial about it, and Repentence came to visit me the other night. They are the only two who know thus far... I'm trying to keep it as hidden as I can...

There is a pause as Kimochi's voice begins to tremble. She inhales deeply, trying to gether herself.

Oh God... What's happening to me?

End log.